6/24/11

Duke Nukem Lost Forever.

Twelve years in the making the final product is at the core a 7 year old game that has had some spit and polish, and to be frank, I couldn't give a damn if it was! Fancy graphics don't mean a thing and people who tell you otherwise are idiots,  yeah go ahead call them an idiot and tell them I said so.

So the graphics are a bit poor (esp. on Xbox 360) but hey it's Duke right!? it's gotta be good right?!
Well.... no not really.... The humour is there, but it's layed on too thick. It's like that comedian doing stand up that used to be famous and who is still doing the same old routine he did 15 years ago, only now with added dramatic pauses in the vain hope the audiance will laugh.

And even that wasn't so bad, so what if the jokes are too many a minute it's Duke man! it's gotta be good!?
Well... no not really..... The first 45 minutes or so you won't hardly even get to use a gun.  You'll be racing a RC car down a path with one way to go for a whole friggin level! and then there's the stupid platforming to reach switches. And a goddamned Turret section. Platforming in a shooter isn't a bad thing per-se, don't get me wrong, if it supports the actual gameplay and is done at the right places at the right time then I do think it has a place, so do vehicle sections and turret sections but in DNF it's overdone.

But the shooting things that's still fun isn't it? It's gotta be it's Duke!
Well... no... not really.... The actual shooting bits felt weird, disconected, vague. The only gun I liked so far was the Shotgun that at least felt a bit "weighty", but then again I might be biased as the shotty has been my favorite weapon in any FPS since Doom. And why have a "zoom" function for your gun when you don't have iron sighting? that's just silly.
Maybe it's becuase I don't play all that many FPS anymore or because I've been playing a lot of Brink where I do like the guns a lot, but gunplay in DNF is sadly lacking.

I think TotalBiscuit  (http://www.youtube.com/user/TotalHalibut) said it best in his first look and follow up video, when he said something to the extent of DNF hanging on to all the bad things of Old Skool FPS games without retaining any of the good, and picking up everything bad of new shooters at the same time.
 It was funny really, I got the  game at launch started playing it right away and after about an hour and a half was bored out of my skull. Then I logged onto the internet and see TB going through all the same emotions I've just been through in his first view video.

Duke then, is  a relic, a thing of the past that had it's glory day, but then the world moved on when Duke didn't. And just like that comedian that had his prime 15 years ago, Duke should've just remained in our memories where he is still that awesome bubble-gum chewing ass kicking super dude.

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